On alcoholism and its influence

This week’s Woman of the Week features the first creative non-fiction submission of a brave and talented woman who wanted to share her writing, and experience, of living with an alcoholic partner.  Kate’s* submission is raw, honest, and real; and will hopefully help others going through a similar experience to not feel so isolated.  Talking about our experiences is the first step in uniting with others who might be going through something similar.

It’s almost too clichéd to mention...  a bachelor party? Surely the warning signs are glaring you in the face like the death stare of a feline before the deadly pounce? Surely I don’t need to verbalize my concerns (I mean this conversation has been had, right?). 

Yet, here I lie at 23:00, listening for every car, willing the front door key to jingle.

I’ve tried to be ‘cool’ about everything, you know, given myself the ‘pep talk’ about how to not be the nagging wife, lectured myself on letting go and scolded myself for paranoid thinking.  And I’ve done pretty well in the past.  But invariably, things end with a ‘spree.’ 

I call it a spree, because just like a spree killer, it is the cause of numerous fatalities until the shooter ultimately turns the gun on himself and ends it all.

The spree starts off rather innocently, it almost jumps out at you from behind the bush, and you wonder why the hell you didn’t notice the crazy gunman against the greenery? Am I fucking blind? A few beers after squash, a pub lunch with mates, gulps out a bottle, a loud voice, floppy arms, ssshhh, ‘Don’t wake the baby,’ argumentative, critical, ‘Don’t take the bait’, lots of swearing, repeat myself, repeat myself again, snoring, the smell, that smell, those fumes...midnight feasting...’ka-tttccchh’ goes the next can, ‘just so he can sleep,’ adcodol, another can, the kitchen cupboard creaks, the lid of the bottle twists, the deep sigh that follows the glug, back to bed, try again, anxiety, worry, shit, it’s morning.

The spree causes the death of:

Consideration.
(This one, I mourn significantly.) Why can’t he see the table is skew, or the coffee cups outside or the dirty nappy, or the wet towel on the floor, or the unmade bed or the cigarette ash?

Connection.
I had a bad day, I’m feeling tired, I’ve got a sore tummy, I’ve struggled with a deadline. Why can’t he see me?

Sensitivity.
Everything is too loud, everything is antagonistic, as If I’m being taunted, ‘come on, say something...say something about why you Disapprove...’ Again, I remind myself not to take the bait.

Common sense. (RIP)
The keys are gone. The wallet is gone. Missed the turn off. Where are we going? What was the question?

Eventually...the shooter has to end it... so with the gun pointed squarely at his temple, he hates himself. The whites of his eyes bulge wildly, the gasps for air become more urgent, the shame is too much...realization beating the bleeding brain into groggy submission. The more Clarity, the More panic. Then the heaving, wretching, purging, the pacing then Finally, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’

Yet...it’s now nearly 1am, and here I lie...alone.

____________________________________________________________________________

My husband is having an affair.

There, I said it. 

In fact, sometimes I wonder whether I am the mistress? She was his high school sweetheart, after all. But he married me. He chose me, yet I know I always come in second place.

Sometimes he’ll ask me out for lunch (a sweet gesture, right?) but I am the only one who knows, it is not for me...it is because SHE will be there, and he’ll get a glimpse of her perfection. I’ll smile and laugh with him at the table, but his attention becomes more and more focused on HER.

Sometimes a week will go by, and I try to ignore how SHE has consumed him, his heart, his mind and his body. How can I possibly complete with her hypnotic influence? I can feel his irritation with me, his impatience and annoyance. I can’t give him what SHE can.

When he comes home I can smell HER perfume on his breathe, he whispers HER name is his sleep, he is tormented by his desire for HER and I am powerless to stop it.

Why can’t I be enough? What’s wrong with me?  I know I’ve put on a little weight, I know my skin isn’t like it was, I know I have pressures and stresses and worries of my own, I guess that’s what makes me real though? SHE is the bitch who he is married to, I’m just his stupid wife. I sit back, a reluctant observer, while he cheats on me, as inhales her brazenly out his bottle.

What now ENDO?: Living with Endometriosis

This week’s Woman of the Week is Nicole Malyon, who has opened up about her endometriosis and speaks openly about the struggles associated with it.  Her story is raw and honest, and she hopes to help anyone else who might also be struggling with this disorder.

Disclaimer: The following is Nicole’s personal research and experience of the disorder.  If you feel that you have these symptoms, please seek out professional help.

Introduction

As women we can all relate to the habitual anticipation of waiting for our periods to arrive. The arrival of one’s period is linked to a wide spectrum of emotions; ranging from absolute joy to crippling fear, and in my case relief. In some cultures the arrival of a young girl’s first period is celebrated by the community, but for the vast majority it remains a social taboo of discussion; which women themselves have been taught, socialised, and trained to keep tight-lipped about for fear of being inappropriate. From the moment a first period arrives it is regarded in a manner whereby one should quickly, quietly, and discreetly manage it. Women are told that menstruation should in no way inhibit who they are, what they do, or how they function day to day- it’s the harrowing obligation that women are forced to bear. My earliest memory of this was my Grade 8 PE teacher ripping up a sick note that my mother had written to excuse me from swimming because of my period.  I remember her saying to me, “Nicole, a period is inexcusable, get dressed and get in the pool.”

Now, imagine that you were experiencing pain that resembled that of a heart attack, and severely losing blood at the same time. Would you quietly go about your day, or would you rush to a hospital and demand that a doctor see you immediately? We would all pick the latter right? But for women who struggle with a disorder called endometriosis they silently suffer with debilitating pain, because of the unrelenting stigma and dangerous normative ideals regarding female reproductive health. 

I have battled endometriosis for 15 years now, it developed shortly after my first period.  I was only 11 years old at the time.  Endometriosis has impacted a huge portion of my physical, emotional, social and professional life; and in sharing my story I hope it can help someone also struggling to navigate the tricky and painful terrain of diagnosing, accepting and treating this condition.  Before we continue I want to briefly outline what endometriosis is, what the symptoms are, and current medical treatments that are available at the moment.

What is Endometriosis?

Endometriosis is a painful disorder in which the endometrium, the layer of tissue which normally covers the inside of the uterus, grows outside and around the surrounding area. Most often this occurs on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, pelvic peritoneum and tissue around the uterus. However, in severe cases this can also grow beyond this and endometrium tissue can develop on the bowel and bladder. In rare cases it has been found on the diaphragm and lungs.

This disorder typically affects 1 in 10 women, and can begin as early as a girl’s first menstrual cycle. Commonly this occurs in women between the ages of 15-49. Menopause does not guarantee a resolution of the disorder, as in some cases if there is tissue damage, or scar tissue caused by the disease or operations, this can prolong endometriosis to well after 50. The estimated number of women affected globally by this condition is upward of 170 million and counting.

Causes:

There are multiple theories regarding what causes endometriosis, but it comes down to a variety of factors.  A woman may have a genetic predisposition and a familial history of the condition, or other hormonal imbalances. It could be caused due to immune dysfunction, retrograde menstruation (backward flow of endometrium in the womb, out through the fallopian tubes and into the abdomen), environmental factors, or lymphatic or circulatory issues. The list and causes are endless, but still it remains unknown as to why certain women are affected by this disorder and others are not.

In my situation it was ultimately caused by a genetic predisposition, trauma to my abdomen due to an injury, as well as a severe hormonal imbalance of oestrogen within my body caused by irregular oral contraceptive use. Excessive oestrogen within the body results in the development of abnormal reproductive disorders such an endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome and primary ovarian insufficiency. There are a variety of cancers that women can develop too, such as cervical, ovarian and breast cancer.

Symptoms:

·         Severely painful periods

·         Pain during ovulation

·         Bloating

·         Dysuria – urinary urgency

·         Nausea and vomiting

·         Headaches

·         Low grade fevers

·         Irregular periods

·         Chronic pelvic pain

·         Pain during and after sexual intercourse

·         Heavy bleeding

·         Fatigue

·         Infertility

·         Constipation and problems with digestion

·         Emotional distress and impact on mental health

·         Hormonal imbalances

·         High Inflammation markers

Diagnosis and Treatment

The first step if you suspect you may have any of the above symptoms during your menstrual cycle - VISIT A DOCTOR ASAP!  I recommend visiting a gynaecologist who has a history of treating endometriosis, or can refer you to an endometriosis specialist. I put this off for years seeking treatment only through my general practitioner, which helped me deal with my immediate symptoms, but didn’t treat my condition as a whole. Your doctor may want to do an operation laparoscopically to determine if you have endometriosis, this is dependent on the severity of your symptoms and medical history.

In my personal case I was treated via hormonal treatments. I went on oral contraception at the age of 13.  My first ever pill I remember was Yasmin; during my teenage years this helped tremendously, but I still dealt with significant pelvic pain, heavy bleeds and fatigue. Essentially what the pill does is regulate your oestrogen levels to suppress endometriosis development. This can preserve your reproductive organs, but one must bear in mind that there are significant side effects to taking contraception for a prolonged period of time (see last week’s blog post regarding the Toll of Birth Control).  I had been on the pill for over 10 years before I decided to take a break and go off of it.  I did this without the assistance of a doctor, and boy do I regret that. Going off and onto the pill is no small consideration, so please do consult a doctor before making any such changes to your body. The side effects can be devastating if done incorrectly.

Other contraception forms are useful too, such as the Mirena, The Patch and even the Implanon, all of which have low levels of hormones in them that help regulate your body internally or through the skin. I have never tried these treatments, but know that they have been effective in treating endometriosis for some women.

There are numerous other hormonal treatments that can even stop the ovulation process in order to prevent the shedding of the endometrium monthly, thus reducing bleeding and build-up of endometriosis in the body.  This treatment is undertaken to treat severe symptoms, and medications such as Visanne are prescribed to women to preserve their reproductive capabilities. I do think that it’s important to note that it is healthy to have one’s period.  Menstruation is an indication of good health, fertility and balance within the body. So before considering stopping a natural process do seek medical advice from your doctor. Don’t just skip the placebo pills in your pack, and don’t unwisely take the advice of friends or family because they have tried a treatment and it worked for them.  Listen and take the advice, but ultimately get professional help.

Lastly, pain management is the biggest part of this condition. There is no cure for endometriosis and I’ve attempted hundreds of pain relief methods to help alleviate my symptoms.  Again, speaking to your doctor is crucial when taking pain medication, trust me a Panadol is not going to cut it if you are in severe pain.

Holistic treatments in conjunction with medical solutions are ideal. Ensuring your immune system is strong and your body is active and living a healthy lifestyle are paramount. Multivitamins, hormonal support supplements, and diet changes can all help contribute to pain and symptom management.  It’s all very personal and no one brush-stroke fits them all; you need to figure out what works best for you. I am currently on the path of supplementation in conjunction with hormonal treatment (the pill) to treat my endometriosis.

An unmentioned treatment for endometriosis, that is often overlooked, is the mental health and emotional aspect of this condition. Seeking the support of friends, family, and colleagues to help you on the tough days is so important. I have always advocated for mental health awareness and since my condition has worsened over the course of the last two years, I sought out therapy as a means of dealing with numerous issues, but also my condition. Having a space to discuss the struggle is essential! Online support groups, Instagram and Facebook awareness campaigns, even blogs such as this are great and a safe space to reach out and find a community of women all struggling with the same concerns.

What now ENDO?

I was recently advised once again to be kind to myself, a task I and so many others struggle to do daily. My socialization had forced me to believe that one should just “get on with it” and live through the pain. This dangerous belief is the main reason that I recently struggled through the most damaging 6 months of living, and incorrectly treating, my endometriosis. I want to leave you with this parting thought. How can we be kind to others, if we are not kind to ourselves first? Ladies and gents, whoever you are reading this, you are not weak, you are not less than, you are not broken. You are greater than the scars, cysts, bleeds, and pains. You are not your endo and despite the insurmountable pain and suffering you will endure with this condition, I promise you that there is a community of women who are just a click away ready to support you.

Be brave, because you’re an Endo Warrior!

The Toll of Birth Control

Women all over the world have to deal with their changing bodies, periods, cramps and bleeding once a month.  That’s if they are lucky.  I would conservatively guess that the majority of women who have used any form of birth control have had a negative experience with it.  The toll that it takes on our bodies is a heavy price to pay for trying to practice safe sex, make financially responsible decisions, balance hormones, or clear our skin (because actually it’s no-one’s business but our own as to why we are on birth control).

I belong to a Facebook group for women in the area that I live in, it’s an ideal group for asking for advice, getting support or having a vent (another reason why women are so great).  I noticed a post by someone asking for advice on a particular method of birth control that she was considering, and was horrified that every woman on there had endured really terrible side effects from birth control.  The following women reached out to me after I asked if anyone would be willing to share their stories. They are here so that we can all be aware of what others are going through, can learn from their experiences, and can possibly help someone else who might be going through it to not feel so alone.

Danielle:  So my "story" begins with not having real insurance as a teenager. We had Medicaid and had to go to this overly populated clinic. A very old doctor and his son who is also a doctor ran it. I remember a time when the older man prescribed worm medication because I talked about pain in my lower area (I have endometriosis, I later found out). It was the type of place where they only spend a minute with you and hand you whatever. Well, being on birth control, I had no side effects and I also didn’t even know it was a shot until they got down to it (Depo-Provera). The nurse injected it twice. Bear in mind that at the time I was barely 16, underweight, and a vegetarian. I lived off of salad basically. In this time I became severely lethargic. I didn’t even feel the need to eat or drink, and if I did it would be a bite and I’d be done for a long while. I slept all day and night. I believe it was a fast forward of maybe 5 months and heavy, heavy bleeding constantly. My throat lymph nodes began to swell and I wasn't able to turn my head in either direction. At the hospital, they found my white blood cells in my urine, a lot of them. They questioned leukaemia. Needing better treatment I was rushed via ambulance to a mobile all-women’s and children's clinic (at maybe around 3 or 4 am). I got a room set up and had two IVs. I needed a blood transfusion. My blood count was, I believe, a 2 or 3 (I know it was very low). I still didn’t want to eat but was forced to. My veins were popping out in some places. Tests and tests for what felt like forever. Then the doctor cleared the room and said, "Is there any chance you could've been pregnant at the time of the Depo injection?" At the time, I was living in a very unstable environment. I had my first boyfriend. I was too afraid to say it was possible, and too afraid to get help. I was also physically drained and couldn't think clearly and just wanted to curl up and sleep and rip out my IVs. Also realizing, after more tests that same nurse mentioned that the injection could have permanent effects on my body and affect my fertility. 

Currently, ever since then I've had more miscarriages. I can't have kids. My older sister with the shared endometriosis had her first child. Now I'm at a point where I can get results with clinics. But even to this day any doctor related place that I visit results in me shaking and sweating heavily, and panicking. It was a nightmare feeling like the dead weight I was because of the depo. I am currently in the process of starting birth control again, for that I need to get my records from the hospitals and work with specialists to see what went wrong and how we can avoid it this time around. I only want birth control to help the painful periods but it's all very scary because of what happened to me, and at such a young age.

Katie: I was on the pill for years, and decided to try the Depo shot. I got my first shot and bled every day for the next three months. The doctor said that my body was just getting used to the switch and to give it time. After getting my second, third, and fourth shot I had bled every day for 1 year. Not just spotting, full-on bleeding, every single day. So I went back to the pill and all was well again. About 2 years later I decided to try the Nexplanon implant in my arm because it lasts for 5 years and IUDs aren't recommended for women who haven't had children. After 9 months of bleeding every day, I got it removed and went back to the pill. Every year or so I have to switch pills to a stronger dose or I will sporadically bleed throughout my pill cycle when I'm not supposed to.
What is the point of birth control if you can't even be intimate with your partner due to bleeding all day, every day?!
Anyways, that’s my saga. I'll probably be on the pill forever.

Stacey: In brief, I kept getting swapped around on the contraceptive pill I was on (combined) and told I could just continue taking my pill no problem. I ended up getting unexpectedly pregnant due to this. I was told later by different doctors that it was probably because certain ones were cheaper and they had to keep to a quota in the UK.
Recently I was swapped from the combined pill to the mini pill (progesterone only), apparently due to my age I had to, and they said I was at a high risk of having a stroke from the migraines I was having; migraines with aura. I actually ended up being diagnosed at the hospital ER after having non-epileptic seizures. I was out of work for four weeks and then lost my job due to being off work sick.  Since then I’ve had an ovarian cyst which was scary for me, being in pain, being submitted for extra pap smears and stuff which was not a nice experience; and the pain I was in, worrying if it would burst. Then to be told I have fibroids which I was worried sick could be cancerous and prevent me from having children. Then, I was told I ‘probably’ have endometriosis- which means I’ll have a lifetime of pain, need to remain on the pill with all its side effects and extra cancer/stroke/DVT risks, and I was told that they want to put me back on the combined pill because apparently the mini pill probably caused this.
It’s just an endless circle and I’m still in pain.  I had to have more Pap smear tests, more internal ultrasounds and fingers in places I don’t want. Too many strangers have seen my bits, it’s so uncomfortable and embarrassing. I’m still worried it’s going to affect my fertility. They told me 60-70% of women like me still get pregnant in the first year. Year?! I want three.....I’m 32 and since when is 60-70% good odds. I can’t afford IVF. All of this because I tried to do the right thing and take contraceptive pills to prevent getting pregnant when I wasn’t in the right relationship, had the finances, or just simply wasn’t ready for kids. I only met my husband a year ago, he’s the only man I want to have kids with, or have ever wanted to have kids with.
Women are punished for having sex and this is one of the ways. Why don’t they make a male contraceptive pill? After all, most of the issues are with the sperm, and the pills are often used to prevent the sperm from reaching the egg in the first place.
I don’t recommend any pills that prevent ovulation! My body is so messed up now. The endometriosis is in my uterus bowel and bladder and I’m 32 with no children yet.

I was told to consider having kids sooner rather than later, one year into my marriage... we wanted time for ourselves but thanks to all of these side effects that choice was taken out of our hands.

Madison: When I was 15 I began Depo-Provera. I received the injections for approximately one year.  After the first injection, the following week I experienced constant anxiety, I couldn’t sleep, and I became sick to my stomach. This cleared up after the first 7 days and I continued on with my daily life. Before the next injection, I had lost 10 pounds and my hair became frail. I continued with the injections as my doctor assured me that my body would adjust accordingly. One week before the second injection I began spotting. This incident of spotting lasted for 6 weeks continuously. The same thing happened after the second injection, 7 days of constant anxiety, shakiness, insomnia, and so forth. Then came the spotting, this time it lasted for 8 weeks. The third injection came, the same 7 day cycle of pure hell. At the last and final injection I informed the physician that this would be my last one, and I wanted to try the pill next. At this time, I had lost 30 pounds over the course of the year and a large chunk of my hair from the back of my head, and the rest of my hair was very thin and damaged. I was a walking skeleton. My first period after the last injection put me in the hospital due to excessive bleeding. I knew that it was NOT normal to not have a period for an entire year. So, then I tried the pill. All was well until about 8 months after my 18th birthday. I spotted again, all month, every month for 6 months and still had a period during this time. I switched to a stronger pill, which kicked my anxiety into high gear. Not as bad as the 7-day hell, but still bad. This led to my doctor putting me onto anti-anxiety medication, which messed with my hormones even more. Eventually, I gave up. My husband had been scheduled to get a vasectomy, so I decided to stop the pill and my anti-anxiety medications at once. Now, I’ve been off the pill/meds for 9 months and I finally feel normal again. My hair is thick, my weight is normal again, and we are still happily child free (thanks to the snip snip).

Kelsea: I’ve been on some sort of “pill” since I was 15 to control acne, cramps etc. I’m now 26. I never had any issues with it until about two years ago, I started having migraines and didn’t know why. I ended up in the ER a few times because the pain was so bad, and at this time I also started gaining some weight. From about 130 to 145 pounds. After CT scans, MRI’s, chiropractors, etc. my doctor determined it was my oestrogen-based birth control. So at that time I switched to the Depo shot because it’s one of the only birth controls without oestrogen. Oestrogen is apparently very bad if you have migraines and drastically increases your risk of stroke. I was on the Depo shot for 3 cycles (9 months) and in that time gained weight from 145 to 174 pounds. I’ve been off of depo or any kind of birth control now for about two months and I don’t have my period back. I’m scared I won’t get it for a while. And now I also can’t lose the weight despite a strict diet and going to the gym about 4 times per week. For someone who was previously very healthy, now having constant headaches and gaining close to 30 lbs in 9 months has been hell for me. So I’m trying to rebuild now, and it just stinks because my husband and I have been married for 5 years and want children soon, and I’m not even having a period at this point due to birth control.

Kylie: I started the Depo shot in 10th grade and after the first month of being on it, I gained 30 pounds in one month and my blood work showed that I had a high white blood count which was super weird. The shot lasts for 3 months so after the three months and gaining 30 pounds I got another shot to give it one more try. I started bleeding again right after the second shot. I bled for 9 months straight, without stopping. I was hospitalized and had to have a blood transfusion. During this time I was also getting severe headaches, back aches, swollen joints and a facial rash. I was passing out and in severe pain. Long story short; that Depo shot triggered lupus and reacted an autoimmune response in my body. So now I’ve had lupus, vasculitis and scleroderma since getting the shot at 16. My rheumatologist showed me many reports on how birth control can mess the body up and trigger underlying autoimmune diseases that could’ve stayed dormant our whole lives, or make them come out early or worse.

Megan: It started when I was in high school, I was a “late bloomer” and never got my period! I had so many tests done checking everything; thyroid and hormones. I also had an ultra sound to make sure all my lady parts looked normal. This was done when I was about 16.  After I graduated high school, still no period. So I went to the doctor again and they gave me some pills to take for a week to see if I would get a period. I don’t remember what they were but I did bleed for a few days after the pills. They thought it would start triggering my period, but it never did.  Two years later, I started getting really bad cramps. I was 20 at this point. I was like, “Oh here comes my period.”  The cramps kept getting worse over a week, then I started bleeding really badly; like filling a maxi pad in an hour bad. I knew something was wrong so I went to the doctor. They did a CT scan and I had a huge cyst on my ovary. It was the size of an orange! I had to have emergency surgery a week later. After that I started to become sexually active.
Now the fun part: Birth control! I was started on the pill, gained weight almost immediately, but my skin cleared up and that was great! Then I started to get really bad at taking it on time and was always worried I was pregnant. So I looked into other forms of birth control. 

Next up was Nexplonan! The arm implant, I gained 40 lbs and was a raging psycho the entire time. I bled for 8 months straight. I had to scream and cry in the doctor’s office and beg for them to take it out. My doctor said it takes up to a year for my body to get used to it, but I was sick of all the bleeding. They went into my arm to remove it and it was so buried in my arm that she had to call someone else to come in to dig it out. She put me back on a pill after that.
I went into my local planned parenthood to get tested maybe last year? And the wonderful nurse asked who prescribed me the pills I’m on because they were a super high dose of oestrogen, something for women going through menopause.  She asked if my mood swings were bad and I said yes.  She explained that the pill was the problem and I’m not actually that moody! I went back to planned parenthood for another check-up 6 months later, I found out I have high blood pressure. They took me off the oestrogen pills and put me on a non-oestrogen pill. I broke out super bad and being on this kind of pill, my periods are so irregular it’s unreal. I tried to go back and be put back on an oestrogen pill, but they can’t do it with my high blood pressure. So, I’m still on that pill and trying to get my blood pressure down so I can switch so I don’t have to deal with these issues anymore!

Image from Pixabay (Public Domain Website)

BOOK DASH: Producing South African Storybooks and Promoting Literacy

This week’s Woman of the Week is Julia Norrish, who manages and runs Book Dash; a local not-for-profit publisher that exists to get beautiful South African storybooks into the hands of children who need them. These are her words after she answered some of my questions about the organization, how it operates, and how we can all get involved.

Julia describes herself as naturally curious and frequently dissatisfied.  She explains that the first is a great character trait and essential to growth, but wouldn’t recommend the latter to others.  Although dissatisfaction allows her to see and question systems that aren’t working, or no longer serving their intended purpose; it can also lead to frustration and a tendency to become overly critical.  It’s not something that she can switch off, though, and she believes that she will always be on the lookout for better solutions to societal struggles. She turned 26 last year, and says that it was a real wake-up call to suddenly be closer to 30 than 20. “Time doesn’t wait for you,” she says, “If you want to see change, you need to incite it and always be aware of the purpose behind what you are doing.” 

Julia has always loved stories and children, and her work at Book Dash has allowed her to combine those passions.  She speaks honestly about mental illness, and insists that it’s something that we should be openly discussing if we want to destigmatize it.  She states, “Mental illness affects almost everyone at one point or another, but for some it can be a lifelong companion that is difficult to shake. It doesn’t define you, but it does mould you in integral ways that would be useless to deny. Similar to other struggles, if you make it through the impact it can also have positive effects. I find that my experience with depression over the past ten years has been a huge driver for me, making me determined to succeed and not to give in. It has forced me to build grit and resilience, both of which I’ve come to think of as the most valuable qualities in a challenging (and changing) world. I encourage people to acknowledge any conditions they may be battling and then build a life that takes them into account (allowing for self-care, for example), rather than pretending that they don’t exist.”

Book Dash first began in 2014 as a vision project among friends who wished to pool their collective skills in the publishing industry, in order to flood South Africa with new, high-quality African storybooks. They publish children’s books, but do things a little differently, in the hopes of making the books accessible for all. The name ‘Book Dash’ stems from the process of creating the books; the 12-hour, fast-paced book-making events.  The first event was held in 2014, and the organization has since proven that high-quality books in many languages can be produced and distributed affordably; the majority of them completely free to the child.  Julia notes that the finely-tuned, and continually-perfected Book Dash model for publishing quality books, at their quick pace, has real potential to revolutionize content-creation and access to books in South Africa, and to under-resourced communities across the world.  Book Dash has produced 108 titles so far, and has printed and distributed over 200,000 copies to children and families in South Africa.  Julia joined Book Dash in 2015 and has been managing the organization ever since. The main operations include organizing the book-making events, managing translations across all 11 of South Africa’s official languages, and printing and distributing the physical books across the country.

There is lots of research that confirms the educational impact of Book Dash’s aim to provide books to children in need, however Julia says that the look of awe in a child’s face when they are told that the book really is theirs to keep is just as compelling evidence. She notes that children are naturally curious and that books open up new worlds, but in South Africa there is a lack of contextually-appropriate print materials for young children, especially in their home languages.  Even children who are fortunate enough to have access to some books end up reading about snow, foxes and other things that aren’t relative to a South African context.  Book Dash fills that gap. The books are also all available for anyone to read freely online at bookdash.org. Julia adds that they can even be downloaded and printed out at home because of the open-license that they use. Due to the great quality of the books and the open-license which overrides the copyright of the book, anyone is able to use and share the books freely without paying or requiring permission.  As a result, Book Dash books are used all over the world to promote literacy and have been translated into so many languages that they’ve lost count.

In terms of the support that they’ve received, Julia says that there has been a lot and she thinks that this is due to it being a project that really captures everyone’s hearts.  She says, “We’re ordinary people, using what skills and talents we have to make an extraordinary impact.  We have a lot of people helping us, of course, but day-to-day it's not a big operation: until June I was the only full-time employee, and even now it's just two of us working hard every day to get more books to kids, no frills about it. We couldn't be here without the creative volunteers who make the books, who are professionals in their fields but give up a day (and their egos) to make great books for kids.”  She says that they also owe their gratitude to the funding partners who believe in Book Dash and its vision, and the distribution partners who do amazing work on the ground to make sure that the books get to the kids.  She says that everyone does their bit where they can, and as Desmond Tutu said, “It's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”

Book Dash has a dream that every child in South Africa can own a hundred books by the age of five; meaning that they would be book owners and likely avid readers before they even reach school.  That is 600 million books! At their cost of printing the books, this could be a reality for R6 billion, which may sound like a lot, but is just .02% of the basic education budget.  She notes that one might think that you can’t simply give books to children and get readers out of them; however research shows that the number of books in the home is a powerful and significant predictor of children’s reading achievement, even when other factors are controlled (Shubert & Becker, 2010).  Julia elaborates that in a 27-nation study of 70 000+ cases, it was found that the number of books in the home has as great an impact on children’s reading attainment as parental education levels, and has a greater impact than father’s occupation or family socio-economic status (Evans et al., 2010).   Her conclusion to this is that giving away books can literally override a seemingly impenetrable cycle of poverty and illiteracy in South Africa. On a personal level, Julia hopes to grow Book Dash to a point to where she can spend more time on the ground, reading with children, and less time behind a desk.

There are many ways that people can get involved and extend their support to Book Dash detailed here.  Word of mouth and telling people about the work that Book Dash does, especially those who work with children, have children, or have access to funds that could be used to print books, is the easiest way to support.  Their aim is to put literacy at the forefront of everyone’s minds.  You can also buy physical Book Dash books here, and they hope to have an online shop on their website soon.

Julia is a testament to someone using her skills in order to help others and serve a very important need in the community.  Her love and zest for what she does is so evident, and is contagious to the children that she works with.  Her work and passion are inspiring and unyielding, and provide a strong impetus for change in South Africa, and many other countries facing poverty and illiteracy.